What's Really Upsetting You?

Introduction

Do you often feel like you're on a roller coaster of emotions, jumping from one breakdown or upset to another? You resolve one issue only to find yourself upset again when another problem surfaces. You may have tried various techniques to calm down and deal with situations, but it seems like the cycle of being upset never ends. In this blog post, we'll explore a different approach to understanding and overcoming these emotions.

The Truth About Upsets

It's common to believe that you're upset because of the events or people surrounding you – someone didn't keep their word or fulfill a promise, or you failed to achieve a desired outcome. But the truth is, your upsets are not caused by external factors. Your state of calm and self-mastery depends solely on your ability to tell the truth.

The Real Culprit

When you encounter an unexpected or undesired situation, your mind immediately forms an opinion about it, labeling it as "wrong" or "bad." Your mind then creates a story predicting a negative outcome based on this judgment. However, it's not the event, the interruption, or even the negative story that's truly upsetting you. The real source of your upset is your resistance to the opinion your mind has formed.

Accepting Your Mind's Tendency

Your mind has a default setting to predict a negative future as a safety mechanism to identify potential danger. While you can't change this aspect of your mind, you can learn to accept it and detach from your reactions to its opinions. Recognize that your identity and commitments have not changed despite the change in circumstances. Understand that the opinions and predictions of your mind are irrelevant and have no bearing on who you are.

Dealing with the Pattern

If you find yourself in a pattern of constantly being upset by unexpected situations, it's important to understand that solving the external problem or managing the people involved won't lead to lasting peace or self-mastery. Instead, focus on recognizing the true source of your upset: your resistance to your mind's opinions and stories.

To break free from this pattern, try shifting your perspective to curiosity instead of resistance. When faced with an unexpected situation, respond with, "Isn't that interesting? I wonder how this is going to turn out." This approach helps you detach from your mind's negative predictions and focus on finding solutions and achieving your desired outcomes.

Conclusion

Achieving lasting peace and self-mastery involves understanding and accepting the nature of your mind, rather than trying to change it or control external factors. By recognizing the true source of your upsets and learning to let go of your resistance to your mind's opinions, you can minimize the duration of your upsets and maintain your focus on what truly matters. If you'd like to explore these concepts further, consider booking a strategy session to gain valuable insights and tools for overcoming the pattern of constant upsets.